Handling a Grudge Match

You're enmeshed in a tight match with the hotshot at your club. As the contest progresses your opponent begins to irritate you. Perhaps the way he swaggers after making a good shot grates on your nerves. Or his calls are a little too quick and there's a smug, pleased tone to his voice as he yells, "Out!" In your mind, you have to win because you can't imagine having to smile and shake his hand if he beats you. In short, it's personal now. The problem is, when this happens you usually stop playing well. Here's how you can avoid this trap. Forewarned is forearmed The best time to focus on keeping personal feelings out of a match is before it starts. Recognize that it's counterproductive to let a match become personal, and resolve in advance to prevent this from happening. Tennis is, by its one-on-one nature, an antagonistic sport. If unchecked, competition calls forth our natural aggressive responses. Unlike boxing or football, where anger can be rewarded, tennis requires fine motor control, which is compromised when a player begins to focus on his opponent rather than the game. Assume that your opponent has personal idiosyncrasies This will make you less likely to take umbrage at any of his actions on court. Realize that your opponents, like you, have their own ways of walking, making calls, and hitting good shots. They may make careless remarks in the heat of battle, and they have plenty of insecurities that have nothing to do with you. Keep this in mind so your own anxieties don't turn your opponent's actions into personal issues. That's right--it's your insecurities that make you overly sensitive to your opponent's mannerisms. Winning or losing this match won't change your life If you sense yourself yielding to temptation and becoming more tense and antagonistic than usual, picture yourself walking up to the net after having lost the match, shaking your opponent's hand, and congratulating him--with no tragedy ensuing. Here you accept the possibility of loss and recognize that no hugely negative consequence will result. Of course you'll be happier if you win, and you should continue to make your most strenuous efforts toward victory, but realizing that losing won't kill you--that the worst outcome is still bearable--is practical and emotionally balancing. Approach this tennis match like it's a day at the office Keep your focus on your side of the net. Try to look at the match as a set of physical and mental problems that you need to solve. And, as in the office, problems are best worked out objectively and rationally. Your opponent is like the net on the court, just another element of the game that makes the whole process possible. Making it an emotional struggle will cloud your judgment. You'll render yourself blind to subtle weaknesses (or maybe even glaring ones) in your opponent's game, your hands will stiffen, and your concentration will scatter.